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The ideal spouse that you should focus on is the one that when you look at that person you have no trouble in saying MashAllah, SubhanAllah, and inshAllah, but hopefully not Astagfirullah. I'm not saying the potential spouse has to be Bollywood material or like the Dubaian celebrity Omar Borkan Al- Gala (picture below), but someone with descent looks or a someone with a great personality, imaan, and character or perhaps with all of them combined.
First of all your imaan defines who you are in terms of being a practicing Muslim. Only Allah (Azza Wa Jaal) knows what's in your heart and what you a person needs. But the brothers don't know what's in your heart and your actions define who you are. You can say all you want that you do this and you do that but at the end of the day your actions speak louder than your words.
The questions you should ask yourself are:
1. Are you ready for marriage?
2. Can you live with someone with the opposite gender?
3. Can you be patient with another person?
4. Can you sacrifice for the other person?
If you answer yes to all that, now you should move to the next question:
6. How will you attract that person?
Every guy has a different taste in women. A short man may like tall women, a tall man may like short women. At the end of the day, you need to attract that Mr. MashAllah who will like you for who you are without you even trying.Increase your Faith in Allah
First and foremost, you should make dua and increase your relationship with Allah (SWT). Make constant dua to find that particular spouse that you heart desires. Don't be fooled in what society tells you to like. For example, what's wrong with a darker skin woman? If a Muslim brother likes a darker skin sister then it's ok, but society, especially in the Desi (South Asian) community, the aunties favor a shaada, gori (fair skinned) girl for their sons. When we are placed in front of Allah (SWT) we will not be judged based on what skin color we were given in the duniya, but how strong our deen was and how many good deeds we conducted.
I know this seems like a jerky statement but you have to understand that men are visual creatures and they will not be attractive to overweight women. It's a cold, hard fact; men avoid the heavy group of women. Men favor petite or skinny women because with age the body mass will increase for women, especially after marriage so, they want a skinny spouse to start with. So sisters, if your BMI is over 22, please drop the biryani and the sweets and hit the gym hard core. I'm not saying you should wear butt tight clothes but even if you wear the abaya and the hijab, it shows if you are slim or not.
Be Feminine
Unfortunately ladies, men are attracted to the opposite of themselves. You have to understand that you are as a woman you won't be attracted to a man who is kind of feminine and soft. The opposite goes for men; they will not like a Muslim sister who boasts about being independent and tough which is a masculine trait. Ignore this whole feminism movement that you hear in the Western media and accept how Allah (SWT) created both of the genders. Women and men have a role in the household. If both partners agree that the wife can work then that's permissible but if you think that as a woman you will prioritize your career above all and be able to find a caring husband, then I'm sorry sister you are mistaken. Don't get me wrong, it's ok for women to have a job and maintain a family; however, keep on thing in mind, that men are like big babies, and you have to treat them like big babies. That means you should take the role of cooking, because in order to get to a man's heart you have to go through is stomach. If you have cooking skills, that just boosts your value in the market. That's just one characteristic of being feminine, but there's numerous to name them all.
Be Humble
MashAllah you may be a beautiful woman, but if you boast about your beauty then it will work against you. Be humble about your beauty. Humbleness is a characteristic that is very attractive to both genders. Be humble is also promoted in the etiquette of following Islam. If you think you are not humble then consider this fact, as a human you are nothing, everything was given to you as a blessing from Allah (SWT), and at his will, everything can be taken away from you.
This post may sound anti-feminine, but however, it's pro-women. You cannot fight the human nature of men and women. These are the basics which I named, but there are numerous more on how to attract that Mr. MashAllah. I hope this helps and if you have any more suggestions then don't hesitate to add them in the comment box.
Be Humble
MashAllah you may be a beautiful woman, but if you boast about your beauty then it will work against you. Be humble about your beauty. Humbleness is a characteristic that is very attractive to both genders. Be humble is also promoted in the etiquette of following Islam. If you think you are not humble then consider this fact, as a human you are nothing, everything was given to you as a blessing from Allah (SWT), and at his will, everything can be taken away from you.
This post may sound anti-feminine, but however, it's pro-women. You cannot fight the human nature of men and women. These are the basics which I named, but there are numerous more on how to attract that Mr. MashAllah. I hope this helps and if you have any more suggestions then don't hesitate to add them in the comment box.
